Somewhere Different
by DeepBlueSea01
Summary: A weekend out of Chicago may be just what they need....Cordano.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N – Added 5/26/04:  A couple months ago I took this story down with no intention of going back to it.  But I guess I just couldn't let it go, so it's back.  Unfortunately, a lot of the files on my hard drive got accidentally deleted recently.  The first eight chapters which I have posted here were recovered.  Two of the later chapters got messed up and are lost.  I'm pretty sure I don't have a backup, but I've been keeping an eye out for it.  I wasn't very satisfied with those chapters anyway, so hopefully I can try something that will work out better this time around.  If you're a returning reader…thank you SOO much for sticking with me!!  There should be something new soon.  And if you didn't read this before, I hope you enjoy!_

_These characters aren't mine - I just borrowed them for a while._

_OK this takes place shortly after No Strings Attached._

_Big Rocket Smooch to Rain for editing this for me :o)_

"Elizabeth, may I speak to you for a moment?"

Damn it she thought. She'd been so close to escaping without being caught. Grudgingly she turned back to the surgeon who'd questioned her. "Alright." She reluctantly followed Anspaugh back into his office.

When they reached his office Elizabeth sat down, hoping this would be quick. It'd been a long day and she desperately wanted to get home to Ella.

Anspaugh began, "I know its late so I'll make this brief. There's a conference in San Francisco that I want you to attend. Its regarding new procedures that can be performed using robot technology. I've spoken to Robert and he will also be attending. It's February 13-16, Thursday though Sunday."

"But that's less than a week away!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "I can't find someone to take care of Ella for that long on such short notice!"

He didn't seem to hear her and continued talking, "I have flights arranged for you and Robert leaving Wednesday night and coming back in the evening on Sunday. This will be a wonderful opportunity for you make your mark as Chief of Surgery right away by bringing...."

"Donald what are you talking about?!?" interrupted Elizabeth.

"What do you mean? I thought you would want the position" continued Anspaugh who still seemed oblivious to the source of her confusion.

"I mean, why is there a Chief of Surgery position opening up.." she trailed off as she realized what this meant.

"I spoke to Dr. Romano today and he is going to have to be removed from the surgical department. He's a liability, and there is just no way the hospital can afford to keep him on the surgical schedule when he can't perform simple procedures." Anspaugh continued, "You saw him yourself in that procedure with Jensen. He's unable to perform any type of surgery. And this is the only way I can see to completely eliminate that possibility; you know how stubborn Robert is. If he remains Chief of Surgery he'll still scrub in to observe, but do you really think if he's in an OR and the patient is in trouble he can really keep his hands out of the field? He was once a brilliant surgeon, one of the best I've ever seen, but those days are over now."

"So your firing him?" asked a still shocked Elizabeth.

"No. The board has decided that we are perfectly willing to let him stay on as Chief of Staff. He is just going to be relieved of some of his duties. He's still top dog in this hospital. Congratulations Elizabeth. The position is yours if you want it."

He stood up, indicating that the meeting was over and ended with, "I'll get you those plane tickets and hotel information by the end of the week. Oh, if you see Robert, would you tell him I'm looking for him. Goodbye."

"Bye," said Elizabeth as she exited his office, still trying to take in all the information she'd just received.

She gathered up her coat and purse and headed for the elevator, relieved to finally be getting out of there. Elizabeth made her way to her car, lost in thought. Part of her, ok, most of her was thrilled with the prospect of becoming Chief of Surgery. Elizabeth relished the thought of being in charge and showing up everyone who still thought of surgery as an old boys club and had always assumed that the only reason she was ever made Associate Chief was because she had Romano wrapped around her little finger.

"Damn, Romano!" she mumbled to herself. Although they'd had plenty of arguments in the past, he'd been a lot nicer lately. He'd been through a lot in the past year so and she hated to be the one to take away what he had always valued most. She was so busy thinking she hardly noticed the figure who fell in step beside her until he spoke.

"Lizzie! You called?"

"What! Damn it Robert, your not supposed to just sneak up on a person like that!"

"I said 'hi' but you seemed a little preoccupied." Robert put on his best pouty face, "You didn't even notice I was there." He continued normally, "However you did manage to swear my name. I can't think of anything today I've done to offend you so what gives?"

"Eh, ummm, nothing," stammered Elizabeth.

"Uh huh. Come on Lizzie, my dog can lie better than that. You talked to Donald didn't you? He told you about our little trip we have to take together. I know that spending the weekend with me isn't at the top of your list of things you'd like to do but we all have to make sacrifices."

"No, its not that, I mean..."

"Oh, so you _do_ want to spend the weekend with me, well then I guess…"

"Robert!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "He did tell me about the conference we're going to but that wasn't what I was thinking about."

"Oh then please, enlighten me." By this time they had reached their cars which happened to be parked right next to each other.

Luckily for Elizabeth she'd had a chance come up with a better excuse. "Its just that right after I talked to Donald, Kris called and reminded me that she's taking a class tonight so she needs to leave soon. I'm just anxious to get home," she explained as she unlocked her car, hoping that he wouldn't push the subject. Now wasn't the time to talk to him about taking over his duties as Chief of Surgery.

"Alright, alright. Who am I to stand in the way of anyone getting an education. Go home and see your kid. Good night Elizabeth."

And with that he hopped in his Jag and peeled out of the garage.

"Good night," Elizabeth said softly, before getting into her own car and heading for home.

An hour later Robert pulled into his driveway, after running a couple of errands on his way home. He made his way into the house and was greeted by an exuberant Gretel.

"Hey girl," he said to the dog, "I know its late so I brought home a special treat for you." With that went into the kitchen and came back with what had to be the worlds largest rawhide bone. "You deserve it for putting up with me all the time," he mumbled to her. Gretel licked his hand gratefully and after carefully taking her prize, made her way into the study.

After putting everything away he followed her, and after pouring himself a drink plopped down on the couch. His thoughts immediately drifted to his earlier conversation with Elizabeth. He knew something was up; she was hiding something. Unfortunately he had a pretty good idea what it might be about. Earlier he'd run into Anspaugh coming out of a board meeting looking awfully pleased about something…and then immediately looking uncomfortable as soon as he saw Robert standing a few feet away. Later that day, Robert had received a message from Donald saying he had something very important to discuss as soon as possible. He was sure the meeting had been about him, and he wasn't looking forward to finding out what exactly had gone on in there.

Deciding to take his mind off work, Robert picked up one of the many journals that was strewn across his desk. After pouring himself another drink he settled down to read one of the many articles he'd been meaning to catch up on lately. He didn't get very far before the alcohol kicked in…his eyes got heavy and soon he was sound asleep.

_It started out the same as always. It was happening again, except this time there was something different. There was the pain but when he fell away from the blade, he kept falling. No roof, no helicopter, no doctors, just dark empty space. Stretching in all directions around him. Then he heard people talking, he couldn't tell where they were coming from or what they were saying but somehow he knew that they were taunting him. He kept twisting and falling but it just kept closing in on him and he had nowhere to go. Until her heard a ringing noise which he made his way towards and…_

He woke up shaking in a cold sweat and realized the phone was ringing. Robert looked over at the clock. 11:13pm. "Damn," he thought to himself, "I must have fallen asleep."

Against his better judgment he went ahead and answered the phone. "Hello."

An annoyingly perky voice answered, "Hi I'm calling to offer you the chance of a lifetime. Sign up today and…"

"Oh shut up," Robert snarled into the phone before slamming it down on his desk.

Gretel looked over at him nervously. "Its OK girl, I'm not mad at you. Damn telemarketers."

Slowly Robert headed for the stairs and bed, hoping that for once the dreams would stay away.

The next afternoon Robert spotted Elizabeth through the window of the surgical lounge. He hurried in to speak to her. He stopped in his tracks when he saw she was on the phone. Luckily she was finishing up her conversation.

"Thanks Kris, I should be home in an hour or so," he heard her say. "OK, see you then. Bye." She hung up and warily turned to face him.

"Robert…" Elizabeth began.

"God damn it Lizzie, why couldn't you have told me yourself?"

"You talked to Anspaugh?"

"Yes! I talked to Anspaugh! And you know what he told me? He said I should be grateful to have what I've got. That I'm lucky to have any job at all. I was one of the best damn surgeons until that helicopter came around."

Elizabeth started to say something but thought better of it. She decided her best bet was to just let Robert say everything he was going to say. There was no stopping him when he got like this.

"Now look at me!" Robert continued. "What have I got left? Nothing! I spent my whole life trying to prove myself. And for what? To get my arm chopped off while all I'm trying to do is save a man's life. I spend my whole life saving lives and then this happens."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "I don't know why I'm telling you about this. You're the one who's gained the most at my expense."

"Robert…"

"Come on Lizzie. I know all about you ambition."

"Robert! I didn't ask for Chief of Surgery."

"No? Well you certainly didn't turn it down did you?" Elizabeth said nothing. "I didn't think so."

"Oh come on Robert. What did you expect me to do? If it wasn't me it'd just be someone else."

"I know," he answered softly. "I'm just not ready to give up."

"But its not giving up," Elizabeth answered gently. "This is a chance for you to start over in a whole other direction."

"I don't want to change. I liked being the best at what I did. Nothing else holds the same thrill for me. Lizzie you're a surgeon, you understand. The feeling of holding someone's life in your hand."

"I know."

"Once a surgeon, always a surgeon. There is nothing else." He slowly got up and started for the door.

"Robert are you alright, with everything?"

"No, but someday I will be." As he reached the door he looked back at her. "Oh, and Elizabeth." She looked up at him sadly as he continued, "I'm glad its you." And with that he walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

_These characters aren't mine—I just borrowed them for a while._

_This takes place soon after No Strings Attached. One more thing, I ended up shifting the timeline…it now takes place in February instead of May…and references to date have been changed in Chapter 1. Thanks to everyone who left feedback, and to Rain for looking it over again :o)_

The next few days were incredibly hectic. Now that he was officially relieved from his duties as Chief of Surgery, Robert suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he had been terrified going into that meeting with Anspaugh. Things actually ended up better than he thought they would. The way Anspaugh had looked coming out of the board meeting earlier led him to fear the worst. He knew that legally they couldn't fire him. He'd made sure of that by coming in every day and working his ass off. Robert was positive that they would have used any excuse had he provided one. No they couldn't fire him, but they could have given him some degrading position to make his life a living hell. Make him so miserable that he'd eventually resign. Never. He'd never give them the satisfaction of driving him away.

After mentally gearing himself up for a fall, Robert had been surprised when all Anspaugh told him was that Elizabeth would be taking over Chief of Surgery. No mention at all of any change in Chief of Staff. Although secretly relieved that that was the only change, he still argued against it. That was the best part. Always call names and throw around insults and in general make everything as difficult as possible for everyone around you. That way no one knows what your really feeling or thinking. Keeps them all on their toes too. Give in to easy and they will think you've gone soft and that wouldn't be any fun. Besides, he had a reputation to protect.

Robert was relieved that if they were taking Chief of Surgery away from him, at least it was going to Elizabeth. She deserved it more than anyone else in that hospital, especially after putting up with all the shit he put her though over the years. He didn't trust anyone else to do a good job at it except her. Of course he'd given her a bad time about it too, but he knew it wasn't her decision. She hadn't asked for it or made any sign whatsoever that she wanted to take over his duties as Chief.

When she'd asked him if he was OK, a part of him had wanted to give in and let out all of the anguish that had been lurking beneath the surface for so long. But he couldn't. He'd shown her vulnerability once before and found himself acting without thinking. Reaching out to the one person who'd shown him compassion without pity. Of course she'd pulled back. Not that he blamed her. He'd have done the same thing if the tables were turned. After that he'd promised himself he'd never let his guard down like that in anyone's presence again. Especially hers.

He hadn't been completely lying when he said he'd someday be OK. By now he'd accepted that he would never be the surgeon that he once was. Never get to scrub in as more than an observer. Maybe not even get to do that much. Augh…probably just as well. He'd get over everything faster if he didn't have to walk by those OR doors everyday. Looking at his colleagues bent intensely over some poor shmuck who'd picked that moment to find out he had bad luck, bad genes, or was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He felt a stab of jealousy whenever he saw everyone else in that frantic, yet controlled rush. Calling out orders, checking vitals, and going through all the motions he himself had done a thousand times before. It killed him to look back and see what had once been, but he wasn't ready to let it all go. At least not yet.

Elizabeth found herself keeping a closer eye than usual on Robert. On the surface he seemed fine. Same old Robert, firing insults left and right, yelling at the nurses, parading around like he owned the place. But Elizabeth knew better. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying. He kept telling her he was fine, but he definitely wasn't. Every once in a while she caught a glimmer or something else lurking just below the surface. His eyes gave him away. Whenever she saw him look at a trauma being wheeled into surgery from downstairs or whenever he walked passed an OR. There was a gleam of sadness there. Of course it never lasted more than a few seconds or two. Then back up came the mask and he was the same old Robert.

She hated that she found herself asking him how he was all the time. Not like his answer ever changed. He always had some smart remark or gruff reply to keep the subject off of himself. She wasn't even really sure why she did it. Maybe she was hoping that one of these times he would open up to her. But he never did.

"Thank you," called Elizabeth to the maintenance person heading away from her. She turned and looked at the door to her office. Elizabeth Corday, Chief of Surgery. Seeing those words on her door somehow made it seem official.

"Why do I feel so guilty about taking the position," she asked herself although she already knew the answer. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew she was the only person Robert really talked to…at least she was. Even though he had been distant lately, and he'd said he'd wanted her to have the job, she still didn't want to be the one to take it away.

Beep, beep, beep. Elizabeth jumped before realizing that it was just her pager. She read the screen and saw the two most unwelcome letters in the English language, ER. Sighing heavily she stood up and headed for the elevators.

A few minutes later Elizabeth called out, "Did somebody call for consult?" as she approached the admin area.

"Not that I know of," answered Haleh on her way to an exam room.

"Dr. Corday!" called a voice from behind her.

"Gallant, what is it?" asked Elizabeth impatiently.

"Actually its not a normal consult," he began. "Its about Dr. Romano."

Ah, Romano again. She sighed before asking "What'd he do this time?" figuring it was over some dispute with a patient and he needed someone to smooth things over.

"Well we were bringing a patient upstairs and he caught his arm in the gurney. He didn't even realize it until I pointed it out" explained Gallant.

Elizabeth slowed her pace as weight of his words sunk in. "He didn't feel it," she whispered softly.

"No. He's in there debriding the would himself" said Gallant gesturing towards the Suture Room. "But I thought maybe you should take a look."

"Thanks," she called over her shoulder before taking a deep breath and entering the room. And there he was, just as Gallant had said, debriding his own arm.

"Ah, Lizzie. I was wondering how long it would take you to find out. I must say that I'm impressed, it took Gallant only 10 minutes to get you. That must be some kind of record for the ER."

"What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing? You think I'd let these bozos down here anywhere near my arm? I don't think so."

By this time Elizabeth had pulled up a stool. Now she wordlessly took the instrument from his hand and debriding the wound herself.

"Why didn't you call me," she asked. "I'd have been down here in a second."

"Oh I knew that boy scout out there would get you soon enough. He's pretty much the only one down here who can think properly."

"What were you doing down here anyway?"

"Oh you know, checking up on the little people. Now that my job's completely administrative I have plenty of time to offer support and guidance."

"Ha!" snorted Elizabeth.

"What? I'm totally serious. Just think where these poor saps would be without me. Out of a job that's where. Do you know how close this hospital has come to closing over the years?"

"Yes I do know something about that actually."

"And do you know why it hasn't closed?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

"All because of yours truly."

"Of course. You're a wonderful administrator with a heart of gold," she said sarcastically.

"Aww Lizzie, now your just making fun of me," he pouted.

"Yeah so?"

"Nothing."

They were silent for a few minutes as Elizabeth continued to clean and suture his wound.

"So not that we've determined I have a piece of dead weight hanging off my shoulder, what should I try next? I could cut it while slicing a bagel and not realize it until I pass out from the blood loss..."

"Robert..."

"Or maybe I could set the damn thing on fire"

"You need to be patient," she told him firmly as she began wrapping his arm in gauze.

"Yeah. So everyone keeps telling me. Although none of us actually believe I'm even going to partially recover, do we?"

When Robert saw he wasn't going to get an answer from Elizabeth he continued.

"Do you believe in the laws of karma, Elizabeth? The Eastern philosophy -- the influence of past actions on your future life?"

"I know what it is" she answered.

"So I can be a jerk, so what? I've always been honest. Brutally honest. Bruised some egos, hurt some feelings, maybe provoked a few tears. But honesty's a hell of a lot more than most people can claim. I don't deserve this."

Elizabeth was about to speak when she was interrupted by that noisy little box again.

Beep, beep, beep.

"Augh, these things always seem to go off at the worst times. I'm sorry."

"Yeah well at least they actually need you."

"Robert…"

"Go Lizzie. Save a life, do your job" he answered bitterly.

Feeling like she had no other choice, Elizabeth stood up and left the room. When she reached the hall she looked back and saw Robert sadly looking down at his injured arm.


	3. Chapter 3

_These characters aren't mine—I just borrowed them for a while._

A few hours later Elizabeth found herself running through the halls calling out to the figure rapidly moving away from her.

"Robert!" He didn't respond.

"Great," thought Elizabeth. "He's either ignoring me or needs to get his hearing checked."

"Robert!" she called again as he disappeared around the corner.

She quickly followed him, hoping to catch up with him before he reached the elevators.

Suddenly she collided with something…actually, someone. Elizabeth looked up to see Dr. Dorsett grinning down at her. She groaned internally while plastering a fake smile on her face.

"Elizabeth! Fancy running into you here," he said way to cheerfully.

"Dr. Dorsett, " she began.

"How many times do I have to tell you, its Edward." His voice dropped to a whisper, "or fast Eddie, as you might recall." He coyly grinned back at her.

Elizabeth sighed and happened to glance over and see Robert watching her curiously. "Of course now he sees me," she thought to herself.

As attractive as he may be, Elizabeth wasn't in the mood to get the moves put on her by Dorsett and was quickly losing her patience.

"Dr. Dorsett," she began sternly, "if you would excuse me I have work to do, as I'm sure you do too. I recommend you start doing you job while you still have one."

Without waiting for a reply, Elizabeth strode off after Robert. Luckily the elevator was slow and she managed to catch up to him.

"Dorsett Lizzie? Really? I'd have expected better from you."

"Haha. He wishes."

"Really?" asked Robert, eyebrows raised. "You mean you haven't.."

"NO! Not that he hasn't been trying."

"Huh. Well I guess you can't believe everything the rumor mill tells you." Without giving her a chance to respond, Robert quickly changed the subject. "So Lizzie, I'm pretty sure you weren't following me just so we could stand here and chat so what's up? And make it quick, I still have work to do."

"Oh, right. I was wondering if you were still planning on leaving tonight. I mean with…everything" she trailed off.

"You mean my arm Lizzie?" At her slight nod he continued, "Well I'm not the one who's wings we need to fly so yes, I'm still going. Disappointed?"

"No, I just thought you might want to take it easy for a day to two. That's all."

"Now why would I do that Lizzie? I'm still Chief of Staff of this hospital, or were you trying to take that one away from me too?"

"Just forget it!" yelled Elizabeth as she turned on her heel and stormed away.

Robert turned and slammed the up button of the elevator again. "Finally," he muttered when the doors finally opened. Just for good measure he shot an evil glare at the nurse standing inside, as if it was her fault the elevator was so slow. He punched the button for the roof as they slowly began the climb upward.

He'd hoped to find the roof empty but no such luck. There was a helicopter sitting on the landing pad with Drs. Lewis and Kovac and one of the flight nurses trying to stabilize a patient before bringing him downstairs.

"Well isn't this familiar," he thought ruefully to himself. "Last time I was up here that was me on that gurney. And my life changed forever."

Next his eyes wandered to the helicopter, surveying everything. The body, the propeller, the tail rotor…as he looked at back he realized he'd unconsciously taken a step backwards.

He didn't say anything, just stood there deep in thought.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but suddenly there was someone calling out to him.

"Dr. Romano. Are you coming down?" asked a concerned Dr. Lewis.

"Huh," he answered as he quickly snapped out of his daze.

"We got the patient stable and are bringing him to surgery. I asked if you were coming down with us."

Surgery. That was the last place he wanted to be right now.

"Uh, no. I just…" he never finished his answer. Truthfully he didn't know why he'd decided to come up here, today of all days.

Luckily Susan seemed to understand, at least she understood enough not to ask anymore questions. They headed downstairs leaving him all alone on the roof.

The helicopter was just taking off and he shuddered inwardly at the noise and the memories.

"Why am I still doing here anyway?" he asked himself out.

"Because you'd be bored out of your mind if you weren't. And they need you here, even if they don't know it." answered a voice behind him.

"Lizzie!" exclaimed Robert, very surprised. "Kovac and Lewis already took the patient downstairs, you just missed them."

"I know I saw them. Anspaugh's doing the surgery. Besides we have to leave soon. Susan told me you were up here, so I came to see if you were ready" she said very matter-of-factly.

"Yeah. Lets get out of here." With one last glance at where the helicopter had been sitting minutes before he turned and followed Elizabeth towards the elevator.


	4. Chapter 4

_Note: You know the drill, these characters aren't mine, I'm not making any money off this…blah, blah, blah. This hasn't been going like I had originally intended, so now I'm not really sure where it will end up. Thanks to those of you who have left feedback and thanks for reading!_

After stopping of downstairs to pick up their things, Robert and Elizabeth met Kris in the parking lot. Luckily she was available to take care of Ella for the next few days and had offered to drive them to the airport. Elizabeth was grateful for Kris and Ella's presence in the car. She didn't have to try to make lame conversation with Robert. There'd be plenty of time for that in the coming days. Instead she distracted herself by going over everything with Kris for the millionth time while Robert played peek-a-boo with Ella in the back seat. This was the first time Elizabeth had ever left Ella for more than a day. And while she trusted Kris completely, she was still nervous about leaving Ella for so long.

All too soon they arrived at O'Hare. The four of them headed inside. They checked their bags and headed for the security gates. When they got to the line Elizabeth knelt down to Ella's level.

"Ella I have to go now. Kris is going to stay with you and your going to have lots of fun, ok. I'll be home in a few days."

Ella nodded clutching a teddy bear in her hands.

Elizabeth picked up her daughter and hugged her tightly. "Bye Ella, I love you."

"Elizabeth…"said Robert gently from behind. "We have to get going if we're going to make our flight."

"Right," answered Elizabeth briskly. She quickly gave Ella another hug before handing her over to Kris and gathering up her carry-on bag.

"Bye Ella, bye Kris" added Robert, giving them a little wave before following Elizabeth.

It was after they were through security and heading towards the gate when Robert spoke again. "Is this the first time you've left her behind?" he asked softly.

"Yeah" answered Elizabeth quietly.

"Hey, she'll be fine. Its only a long weekend" he said, trying to be reassuring.

"I know, its just that…" started Elizabeth before trailing off. "Never mind" she finished.

"I know" he said simply.

"What gate are we going to?" she asked quickly, clearly trying to change the subject.

"Uh, 15, right up here."

"Delayed! This day just keeps getting better and better." exclaimed Elizabeth a few minutes later.

"You want a drink," asked Robert, gesturing to a nearby bar. "I know I could use one."

Their conversation was strained at best. Elizabeth knew Robert was still mad about her comment earlier when she asked him if he was still going to go to this conference despite his latest setback. She'd realized right after she said it that he would interpret it as her saying that he should give up. They'd both had a long day and neither wanted to get into a deep conversation now. Unfortunately this severely limited their conversation. As they sat in silence Elizabeth realized just how little she knew about the man sitting next to her, even though she'd met him in England almost eight years ago.

"Have you even been to San Francisco before?" asked Elizabeth in a desperate attempt to say something, anything, to fill in the silence. She was surprised when he have more than a one word answer like he had been doing earlier.

"Yeah, my sister lives in the area" he answered quickly.

Elizabeth looked at him in surprise. "I didn't know you had a sister. Are you going to see her while you there?"

"Ha!" he snorted, "Like she'd see me if I tried. My sister and I aren't exactly close."

"Why not" asked Elizabeth before she even realized she'd said anything.

"Cause we don't get along" he answered shortly. "Why do you want to know about my family all of the sudden?"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just now realizing how little I know about you."

"Wow, Lizzie. It only took you how many years to figure that out?"

"Forget it" responded Elizabeth. "Sorry I asked."

They finished their drinks in silence. This time neither one of them tried to break it. Luckily their flight was called a couple minutes later.

"About damn time" muttered Robert under his breath as they headed towards the gate.

At last they were in the air. As soon as the seatbelt sign went off Elizabeth put her seat back and let exhaustion take over. In the seat next to her Robert was reading, at least trying to read. However his thoughts kept drifting to their earlier conversation with the woman sleeping next to him. He wasn't really mad at her, although she probably thought he was. Her comment had upset him, but not because she said it, she was just the perfect scapegoat. Robert had been realizing that the sensory function in his arm had been deteriorating over the past few weeks. It would have been impossible for him not to notice, but until today he had been able to hide it pretty well. Today his charade ended. And to make it even worse, he revealed his weakness in front of a med student of all people. A med student! The people he spent all day trying to break, except that this time he broke first. He wasn't mad at her, she'd only said what he'd been starting to think about. Should he give up? Was there really a point to staying in a purely administrative job? He didn't want Chief of Staff because of the paperwork. He'd taken it for the power it gave him. But with the surgery side gone, his power was severely weakened. Robert was really mad at himself for thinking about giving up. He'd never been a quitter and certainly wasn't about to start now, but what other choices did he have?

Several hours later Robert's thoughts were interrupted by the pilot announcing that they were about to begin their descent. Robert glanced at his watch, almost midnight, Pacific time. Great, they still had to get off the plane, find a cab, get to their hotel and then be up in seven hours. He looked over at Elizabeth and saw that she was still sound asleep. She looked so much more relaxed than she did at work. Robert felt a pang of guilt at the thought that he probably caused a lot of that stress, or at least he didn't really help eliminate any of it.

"Elizabeth," he said gently, hoping she would be easy to wake up. No such luck.

"Elizabeth" he called again, louder this time. She stirred slightly this time but still seemed determined to stay asleep. "Hey sleeping beauty, time to wake up," he called again. She stirred again and mumbled something.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures" thought Robert to himself. Then to Elizabeth's still sleeping form he said "Don't say I didn't warn you" as he slowly brushed his lips against hers.


	5. Chapter 5

_Note/Disclaimer: I don't own NBC, or ER, or the characters of Elizabeth Corday and Robert Romano.__ The ending of the last chapter wasn't really what I meant to do. I just got this crazy idea in my head and it wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. I'm still not sure if I like how it ended up but I decide to go with it and see if it could maybe work. As always, I love feedback. Thanks for reading!_

Elizabeth could here Robert calling her name, but she didn't want to wake up and face reality just yet.

"Five more minutes" she mumbled. She heard his voice called her name again.

"Noooo," she groaned again. She was slightly more alert now but still feigning sleep. Elizabeth thought back over the day she'd had and groaned again. That last thing she wanted was to wake up and try to make conversation. He was in one of those moods where the best thing to do was to steer clear. Unfortunately in the cramped airline seat she didn't really have that option. She turned slightly as Robert mumbled something else to her that she didn't quite catch. Elizabeth was about to mumble some retort when she felt someone plant a feather-light kiss on her lips.

"Robert!" cried Elizabeth as her eyes flew open and she saw him backing away guiltily while at the same time looking very pleased with himself.

"Lizzie, have a nice nap?" he asked coyly.

"I was until you had to go and wake me up" she answered grumpily.

"Okaaay, someone woke up on the wrong side of the plane this evening. And its not my fault, pilot's orders, we're landing."

"Its about time," exclaimed Elizabeth as she returned her seat to its upright position. She was surprised at her self for not being more angry at Robert. In fact she was more surprised than anything. It just seemed like an odd and out of character thing for him to do. Elizabeth knew that he still had feelings for her, but since that time in the lounge he never stepped over those boundaries again. So why now? She glanced over at him again and saw that he actually looked content….no, relieved maybe. For whatever reason it looked like he'd just had a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.

"Are you always this hard to wake up?" he asked, bringing Elizabeth out of her thoughts.

"Do you always wake people up like that?" she shot back.

"Well I had to make sure you were OK."

"What?!?"

"You know, I had to make sure you were breathing. Come on Lizzie, didn't you learn anything in med school? Maybe I should rethink my decision to let you in the OR with me" he pouted.

"Wait….what?!?" she asked again.

"You heard what I said" he started before continuing without letting her get a word in. "Sitting here, I've been thinking. I must remember to thank the pilots for being so incompetent that they can't land the plane just because of a little fog. You see Lizzie, while these morons have been flying around in circles looking for the airport, I've made a decision."

Elizabeth just started at his face for a moment. His tone was still playful and light but his expression was dead serious.

"And…" she prompted.

"And what?" he asked innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about. Care to share your decision with me or do I have to guess?" she asked exasperatedly.

"I thought I already did. Lizzie I have to say I'm hurt that you weren't paying more attention."

Elizabeth's mind raced back over the past few minutes before finding what she was looking for. A big smile slowly spread across her face as she comprehended what he had meant. "Your going back in the OR."

"Very good. So you either were paying attention or you're a good guesser. Does this mean you want a gold star?"

"I think I'll be fine without one" she answered dryly.

"Good" he said smiling ruefully. After a few moments he asked, "So Lizzie, I'm surprised you haven't asked me how I plan to accomplish this feat considering that I have a piece of dead weight hanging off my shoulder."

"I was kind of curious" she confirmed.

"Well I'm not going to tell you. You just have to trust me on this. Someday very soon I will be back in the OR."

"Robert…."

"Look Lizzie, I know what your going to say. The worse my arm gets the less chances I have, but that is exactly why I know I will get back in there. No one expects I'll do it, so I guess I just have to prove them wrong."

"Whatever you say Robert. You are the most stubborn man I know and if you set your mind to something I know you'd try your hardest to make it happen, but some things just might not be possible. I…I just don't want to see you disappointed" she stammered.

"Aww, Lizzie, I'm touched. But don't worry. I won't be disappointed. My life's already fallen apart, how much worse can it get."

"Robert…."

"Lizzie. Don't say anything else, OK. I've made my decision and nothing is going to change my mind. I'm determined to do this, the least you could do is be supportive."

"OK, fine" she said while mentally kicking herself. She'd been determined just to try and listen to what he had to say without passing judgment. Unfortunately that didn't seem to last very long. However when she looked over at him again she saw he wasn't angry or upset. In fact he seemed quite the opposite. Much more relaxed than she had seen him in a long time.

"So Lizzie, will you be there to join me in my return to the OR" he asked cheerfully.

"Whatever you want Robert."

Satisfied with her answer, Robert turned and looked out the window and watched as the plane descended through the fog and into San Francisco.


	6. Chapter 6

_Just for the record, I know nothing about medicine or medical technology or anything like that aside from a couple things I've seen on the internet but I wanted to have some sort of arm recovery plot so sorry if the details are fuzzy or very unrealistic. As usual, the characters aren't mine. I know the last couple chapters have been kind of short so here's one that's a little longer...hope you like it =)_

"Lizzie, remind me again why we're here" whispered Robert. They were sitting in the middle of the auditorium the next afternoon. The morning speaker had actually been interesting but the current speaker was droning on and on.

"Because Donald and the members of the board think that this is a good technology for us to look into so County will get noticed."

"Yeah, but why do we have to be here?" he whined.

"Well you are Chief of Staff. Don't you think it would be good for you to know what all this is about?"

"Sure but they could at least get someone with more personality than a wet mop to talk about this stuff."

"Well we can't all have your charming wit and good looks" she answered sarcastically.

"Sad isn't it, just think how much better it would be if there were more little Romano's running around."

"Now there's a scary thought," mumbled Elizabeth.

"What's that Lizzie? You don't think filling the world with more Romano's would be a good idea?"

"Not so much."

"Aww, I'm crushed."

"You'll get over it" she answered.

He was about to answer back when the man sitting in front of them turned around and politely asked them to stop talking. Robert was about to snap back at him when he was interrupted by hearing the sound of his own name. He quickly turned back to Elizabeth saying, "Oh, that's my cue."

Elizabeth could only stare at him in disbelief as he headed up to the podium to begin his presentation to polite applause. When he reached the podium Robert looked over at Elizabeth, flashed her a devilish grin and began speaking.

An hour and a half later Robert finished his presentation and wrapped things up for the day. He made a beeline for Elizabeth as everyone headed out the door into the cool evening air.

"What the hell was that?" she asked when he reached her, trying to sound annoyed while at the same time barely hiding a grin.

"Aww, Lizzie, you didn't like my little speech up there?" he said pouting.

"It was wonderful but you could have at least told me what you were up to" she replied while playfully punching him in the arm.

"Hey…just cause I kept a little secret from you doesn't mean you have to go beat up on me."

"Oh, so participating in a study that could potentially revolutionize how we practice surgery isn't a big deal?"

He thought for a second before answering, "Hmmm, not really. I mean sure if all goes well I could very well operate again with the help of this little robot thingy and it gets County all sorts of money and attention but who cares about that." He paused a moment before continuing on a more serious note. "Besides I didn't want you to talk me out of it and try to tell my I was getting my hopes up for something you think is impossible. But now we're committed to it, its going to happen."

Robert began walking away from her. He was starting to feel the first bit of doubt and he didn't want to show that he wasn't as confident as he sounded.

"Robert, listen to me" began Elizabeth as she reached for his arm. He reluctantly turned around to face her as she continued. "I don't think its impossible, now that I can see what your up to I honestly think that you have a very good chance of being able to get into an OR as a surgeon again. And knowing you you're not going to give up until you get what you want."

"Lizzie…" he began before put her fingers to his lips to signal him to be quiet.

"Robert for once let me finish without you interrupting." At his subtle nod she continued speaking. "I'm really proud of you. You've had everything important taken away from you but you haven't given up on getting what you want. So, uh, let me know what I can to do help you with this, okay?" she finished.

He tried not to show how much her words had touched him but failed. "Elizabeth," he started awkwardly.

"Don't…don't say anything, okay."

He nodded, grateful for her understanding and support.

They continued walking down the street back to the hotel in comfortable silence before Elizabeth spoke again. "Wait a second, Robert I'm confused about something."

"Well I have all the answers so tell me what your confused about and I will reveal the answer with a wave of my hand," he replied, obviously in a good mood.

"You've obviously been planning this for a while, so how come yesterday on the plane after you woke me up you said that you had made a decision just then," she asked blushing slightly of the memory of just how he'd gone about waking her up.

He didn't seem to notice her discomfort and continued energetically, "I'm glad you asked that Lizzie. You see yours truly has been trying to get into this study using MedTech's technology for quite sometime so I've always entertained the idea of using this robot thingy, but until yesterday I always thought I would be able to use it as it's meant to be used. As a tool to assist surgeons with two functioning arms. However my latest setback has nixed that idea so I decided to push the envelope and as long as all goes well with these initial trials, I intend to modify the technology they have to suit my own purposes."

"And just how do you intend to do that?" she asked.

"That's for me to know and you to find out" he taunted like a little kid.

"But I wanna know now," whined Elizabeth.

"Too bad. I'm not going to tell you, so there!" he retorted playfully.

"Your no fun" she replied.

Trying a different tactic Elizabeth asked, "So any other surprise speeches I should be waiting for?" She was hoping he would give away some hint about what he was up to but he had none of it.

"Nope, sorry to disappoint…" he said trailing off, obviously distracted by something.

Elizabeth followed his gaze to rest on a woman who looked to be in her early to mid thirties about a block ahead and headed in their direction.

"Robert, wha…" she started to ask but quickly grabbed her arm and led her back the way they came.

"Shhh. Just come this way, I'll explain everything later."

Elizabeth started to pull back but was surprised by how strong his grip on her arm was, "Robert, what the hell are you doing?" she asked, starting to get angry as well as nervous about his sudden change in behavior.

"Lizzie please…lets just go back this way," he asked again.

She was about to protest but was surprised to see that desperate look in his face and decided to follow without further argument. He broke into a brisk trot, abruptly turned the corner and went down another block before slowing and melting into the crowd.

Elizabeth followed him silently for another block before asking anxiously, "Now will you tell me what that was about? Why did you act like that, something about that woman we saw set you off."

Robert glanced back over his shoulder and decided the coast was clear before answering, "My sister, I don't want her to know I'm here."

"Why not?"

"Its nothing. I don't want her to see me like this," he said softly.

Elizabeth paused for a few seconds before realizing what he meant, "Your arm?"

"Duh!"

"You mean she doesn't know about any of it?"

"Nope and I intend to keep it that way" he replied brusquely, looking straight ahead.

Elizabeth was silent for a few minutes while thinking of what to say. When she spoke again she asked, "I take it you two don't get along."

"Very good Lizzie. What was your first clue? I told you that yesterday or have you forgotten already?"

"I didn't forget, I'm just surprised you acted this strongly" she answered, hoping he would give in and tell her what was so wrong between the two siblings that his sister wasn't there to offer any support at all while he was going through what was one of the most difficult times in his life.

When he didn't respond Elizabeth decided to drop the subject, for now at least. When Robert did speak again it was on a completely different subject, "I really enjoyed our little chat tonight Lizzie, but its been a long day so I'm going to head upstairs, order room service and call it a night."

"Huh?"

"You know, at the hotel, the place people sleep when they are in a city they don't live in," he said sarcastically pointing.

In her attempt to try to figure out what was going on in Robert's head Elizabeth hadn't noticed they had circled around the block and were now in front of their hotel. "Right," she answered absently.

He cocked his head and waved his hand a few inched in front of her face grinning, "Hello, Earth to Lizzie. Anybody home?"

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts without saying anything.

"I'd love to stay and keep up this captivating conversation but like I said before, I'm going to go upstairs and relax before getting up early tomorrow morning," he snarked before heading inside and upstairs to his room.

Elizabeth slowly followed him upstairs before going into her own room.

Robert reached his room, threw his jacket on a chair, flopped down on the bed and flipped on the TV. He finally settled on an old movie he thought he recognized but couldn't place, then looked through the room service menu before deciding on a burger with all the fixings, before settling down to watch the movie. Except he couldn't pay attention to it. His thoughts kept drifting back over the past day and he felt his apprehension growing. Soon exhaustion took over and he drifted off to sleep.

In the next room Elizabeth was distracted by thoughts of her own. Robert's behavior outside had disturbed her. He wasn't one to walk away from a fight. Quite the opposite. He was that one who wasn't afraid of confrontation and was always willing to be brutally honest and speak his mind. So why had the appearance of his sister over a block away caused such unusual behavior out of him? She was starting to get frustrated with how little she knew about this man who she'd known for over eight years and worked side-by-side with many hours a week. Most of the time he was a pain in the ass to work with or be around, but those glimpses of a kinder, gentler side to his personality were starting to happen more often. Elizabeth didn't want to admit it to anyone, including herself, but those rare glimpses intrigued her.

Sighing heavily Elizabeth turned on the television, hoping there were be something worthwhile to help her clear her mind. She eventually found an old Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy movie and settled down to watch. After only half an hour of watching her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep.

_It was always the same dream. Everything looked just like it had that night nine months ago. The other doctors, the helicopter, the patients, the roof…and then that damn chart blew under the tail and his life was turned upside down. Usually everything played out like it had really happened but tonight things were worse. As he fell away from the blade there was the pain and then laughter. His eyes looked around wildly and saw everyone from County just standing there. Lewis, Kovac, Carter, Corday, Weaver…they were all there just standing and laughing. He tried to reach out but couldn't. Everyone laughed more when they saw him struggling, their faces twisting into bizarre and unnatural shapes as they mocked him. He started to yell at them to get back to work but all that came out was a strangled cry. Slowly the pain and the laughter started to fade away to black until a persistent knocking sounded that kept getting louder and louder until he sat up suddenly._

Robert looked around the room wildly, trying to get his bearings. Slowly he came awake and realized that it wasn't really happening, it was just a dream. He was noticing that the sheets were tangled around his legs and his body was trembling slightly when he realized that the knocking hadn't been part of his dream. It was coming from the door separating his room from Elizabeth's.

"Robert! Are you okay in there?" she called thought the door anxiously.

"Damn!" he thought to himself ashamedly, she must have heard me call out in my sleep. After a few seconds he found his voice and called back, still somewhat shakily, "Just peachy, guess I had the TV turned up kind of loud. Sorry about that."

Elizabeth looked at the door suspiciously. She knew he was lying but decided to let it slide and said awkwardly, "Okay, good night then."

"Goodnight," he called back, relieved that she seemed to have bought his lousy excuse.

Elizabeth made her way back to bed and was quickly asleep.

Robert went into the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face and got a drink of water before attempting to sleep again. It was over an hour later before he finally settled into a restless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

_Robert isn't mine, Elizabeth isn't mine, ER isn't mine. They belong to a bunch of rich people who decided that characters have to either be the "moral center" or their name has to start with "A" to get any real screen time, growth, or family background. There have been several comments about how people want to see them finally open up to each other…so here you go! I tried to keep it from getting too touchy-feely or out of character but they are hard to write dialog for. Please, please leave feedback and thanks for reading :o)_

The next day was a lot like the day before, minus the surprise speech from Robert. Hour after hour of boring doctors babbling on and on. The information was interesting, but the speakers were not.

"At least when I talk I keep everyone's attention" commented Robert the next afternoon.

"Yeah, by insulting them" snorted Elizabeth.

"Hey, it works doesn't it?"

Elizabeth just rolled her eyes.

Romano ignored her and kept talking, "It really wasn't fair of me to go on the first day. You really are supposed to let the best go last. Now everyone else has to try to live up to the high standard I set."

"You have way too high an opinion of yourself."

"Well its not very hard when you spend all day surrounded by incompetent idiots, present company excluded of course."

"Excuse me sir, would you mind keeping your comments to yourself. Some of us actually want to listen to this presentation" asked the woman sitting on his other side.

Robert made a face and was about to make another comment to Elizabeth but her glare made him rethink that decision. The rest of the afternoon passed without anymore comments from either one of them.

As they stepped outside a sharp wind hit their faces.

"I thought California was warm," mumbled Elizabeth.

"Not in February. It could be worse though, at least there isn't snow. You could be running from the El to the hospital in driving rain or snow right about now."

"You have a point."

They were silent for a few moments as they headed in the direction of their hotel.

"You were awfully negative in there today," Elizabeth observed.

"I was bored," whined Robert.

"You know you sound like my almost two-year old when you do that? I thought this stuff was interesting to you."

"Yeah, well. I already have the information I need since I've been planning this study for a while. This was mainly so I wouldn't have to explain everything to you."

"Oh, your so generous" said Elizabeth sarcastically.

"Anything for you Lizzie," he snarked back.

By this time they had reached the hotel lobby and started heading up to their rooms.

Robert cleared his throat nervously before changing the subject, "Ah, Lizzie. I don't know about you but I don't really want room service again tonight so you want to go find out if there are any restaurants worth eating at around here. Just somewhere casual."

"Sure, I'm starving. I just need to call Ella, its almost her bedtime Chicago time."

"Ok, I'll go talk to the front desk and you can come down when your ready."

"Great, I'll see you in a few" said Elizabeth as she continued up the stairs and Robert turned back to the lobby.

"Goodnight Ella. I love you, be good for Kris and I'll see you really soon, ok," Elizabeth said into the phone ten minutes later.

When Kris had taken the phone from Ella, Elizabeth said, "I can't thank you enough for staying with her all weekend Kris. Right. The flight gets in Sunday evening at 7:30 Chicago time. Ok, see you then. Thanks again. Goodnight."

Elizabeth was hanging up when there was a knock on her door.

"I wonder who that could be," she thought to herself. She opened the door to see an unhappy Robert standing there.

"Uh oh, what's wrong" she asked anxiously.

"The guy up front reminded me that today is Friday, February 14th, meaning that every decent restaurant is going to be busy. If you want we could probably find a deli or burger place or something."

"Damn, I forgot what day it was. If all we could get is a burger or sandwich I'd rather stay in."

"Oh well, maybe tomorrow then," said Robert as he started to leave, trying to hide his disappointment.

Before Elizabeth really knew what she was doing she called after him, "Uh, Robert. Do you want to eat in here? I mean, we both need to eat anyway right, might as well do it in the same room."

"Uh, sure. Let me change out of these clothes and I'll be back over."

"Ok."

Several minutes later Robert knocked on the door separating their rooms calling, "Can I come back in now?"

"Yeah, be right there," Elizabeth called as she quickly threw on a tank top and jeans. She opened the door to reveal Robert standing in a black t-shirt and faded jeans.

"I went ahead and ordered a steak for myself," he said as he entered the room, leaving the door open so he could hear when his food arrived.

"Alright, let me just figure out what I want…have a seat," she finished gesturing to the chair at the far side of the room.

Robert got settled while Elizabeth went and called down to room service. Before this had seemed like a good idea. Going out somewhere to dinner made sense. They were in a city where they didn't know anyone, at least not anyone they were on speaking terms with, it seemed natural that he would go eat with her. But the restaurant idea hadn't exactly worked out and now he was still having dinner with her, but in her hotel room, on Valentine's Day. It seemed much more intimate. After that disaster in the lounge he'd resolved never to give indication about his true feelings for her unless by some miracle she made an obvious sign that her feelings had shifted, drastically. Robert hoped he'd be able to keep his resolve and not do anything stupid tonight.

After she ordered Elizabeth flopped down on the bed, suddenly at a loss for words. Now what were they supposed to talk about she thought to herself. Their recent conversations hadn't gone very well.

"I ordered a bottle of wine too," she said lightly.

"Great," answered Robert. Ha, that was the last thing he needed. Alcohol plus Lizzie could be a dangerous combination. "I hate this holiday," he mumbled under his breath, not really intending her to hear him.

"Same here," she replied. "Mine haven't exactly gone well these past few years. You remember what happened three years ago right?"

"Yeah, Lucy," he said softly. "She would have been a good doctor someday. Although never a surgeon, not arrogant enough."

"I guess as a group we surgeons are not the most humble people on the planet."

"Now that, is a major understatement," he said grinning.

"So Lucy died three years ago, two years ago I had lost all confidence in my surgical abilities and my fiancé was recovering from brain surgery, then last year my 9 month old daughter was in the hospital after overdosing on ecstasy. I keep waiting for another disaster to strike."

"Well, we are in California, maybe an earthquake will hit while we're here."

"Oh goodie. Just what I've always wanted, to be in California when the big one hit" she replied sarcastically.

"Calm down, its just a suggestion." He paused and leaned back in his chair before asking gently, "How is Ella doing?"

"You mean because of Rachel's ecstasy?" she asked venomously. At his nod she continued, "You know its hard to tell since she's still so young. Although I worry about her a lot. She's a lot less vocal than a lot of the other kids. I mean she can talk but I think less than the normal almost two-year old."

Robert was about to reply but was interrupted by a knock coming from his room. "Hey, my food's here. Be right back."

After getting his meal and returning to Elizabeth's room, Robert continued, "I think you have reason to worry. We don't really know what kind of affect that can have on a kid that young."

"I know, that's what so hard," she sighed. "Guess there's nothing to do but wait and see. Ok, its your turn to share now," she told him, clearly wanting to change to subject.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, half hoping she wouldn't bring up anything too personal and half hoping she would so he could finally open up to her.

"Hmmm, lets see? What do I want to know about the notorious Rocket Romano?" she thought out loud. Robert caught a gleam in her eye and stiffened anxiously. "Why did you want to become a doctor in the first place?"

He was about to answer when there was another knock, this time it was Elizabeth's food. "Hold that thought," she told him as she went to the door. She poured them each a glass of wine then waited for him to continue.

"My father died in a car accident when I was five. Back then I couldn't really understand why they couldn't save him. I mean I was just a little kid, he looked asleep so why couldn't he wake up? At the time I wanted to become a doctor because I thought I would be able to save everybody. Of course I found out later it doesn't work that way and not everyone can be saved, but that's where I initially got it in my head that I wanted to be a doctor." After a brief pause he tried to get the subject off of himself. "Ok, I get to ask you one now."

"What are we doing, playing twenty questions?" asked Elizabeth.

"Yes. Come on Lizzie, don't you like games?"

"Isn't twenty questions the one where you think of something and I have to guess what it is by asking you questions?"

"Yeah. This is a different version. I get to ask twenty questions and you get to ask me twenty questions."

"That sound more like the truth part of truth or dare."

"Fine we're playing truth" he said rolling his eyes slightly. "Whatever you call it, I get to ask you something."

"Fine, go."

"Ok, how are you doing? I mean with…" he trailed off, not looking her in the eye.

"You mean Mark?" she finished for him. "You can say his name you know. I'm not going to burst into tears hearing it."

He nodded and she continued.

"I'm doing really well actually. I'm ready to move on with my life. And after everything that happened with Rachel while she stayed with us, I'm not sure we would have stayed together if he had been well."

He nodded again, silently urging her to continue. After a pause she did, "Our personalities just didn't match very well. He always hid and avoided any problems that came up, especially with Rachel. I always had to be the strong one and clean up after everything. I get to ask you one now," she said pouring herself another glass of wine.

"Uh oh."

"Why did you run away when you saw your sister yesterday?"

"I wasn't running," he said indignantly. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Ok, fine. I was hiding" he trailed off.

"Same thing."

"Alright, alright. We don't exactly get along."

"You've mentioned that part already. Why don't you get along?"

"Oops, sorry Lizzie, only one question per turn."

"Hey, that's not fair."

"Who said life is fair?" he asked.

"I don't know, but that was your question. My turn again" she gloated.

He just pouted.

"Ha! So why don't you and your sister get along?" she asked again.

"Fine. She's actually my half sister. My dad died suddenly when I was five like I already told you. I didn't realize it until later but my parents didn't get along well even when he was alive. But they decided to put on a good front for my benefit. Anyway, after my father died, mom got married again within a year. Within another year Emily was born. She's seven years younger than me which is a pretty big age difference between kids so we never really played together, except when my mom and step-father went out and made me watch her. You really want to hear all this?" he asked.

"Yes, keep going."

"Ok. So anyway my step-father was a jerk to me. He was always extra tough on me. Nothing I did was good enough. And to make it even worse, in his eyes Emily could do no wrong. Even though there was a big difference in our ages we were always competing. I would bring home an A on a test and she would bring home a picture she painted and of course he would always frame her pictures and hang them up, then ask me how come I didn't get an A. Even though I was jealous of the attention she got, I didn't resent her for it, at least not back then. I tried to play the role of attentive big brother when she was a teenager and I had already moved out. For a while we were close but she moved out here and we drifted apart. I pursued medicine and she was an artist. How much farther apart can you get?"

While he paused to refill his wine again Elizabeth asked, "So when did things get really bad between you? They way you reacted yesterday is not how I would expect just because you hadn't seen your sister in a long time."

"Hold your horses, I'm getting there. More wine?" he asked her.

"Sure," she said offering her glass.

He poured her a glass and then continued speaking. "For years we saw each other once every few years. We would catch up on the past few years then go back to our own lives. About six years ago mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Until then I'd had a similar relationship with my mother as I had with my sister. I felt guilty about distancing myself from her so I asked her and my step-father to move to Chicago. I couldn't stand him but I wanted to have her closer to me. She convinced him to move from New York where we'd grown up to Chicago. She fought it aggressively and it went into remission. For a while things were really good between all of us, until it came back almost four years ago," he paused and Elizabeth could see unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

"Robert," she spoke hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He cleared his throat and spoke again, "This time it was worse. She knew it too. It had spread to her lungs and liver. She told us that she didn't want chemo or anything. I hated it but I went along with it. Once her mind was set nothing could convince her to change it."

"Sounds familiar" she said softly.

He gave a small smile, "I guess that's where I get it from. I agreed with her but Emily and my step-father refused to accept it. That's when things went sour. Everyday was a constant battle. My mother and I versus my step-father and sister. She refused to go to the hospital and I backed her up. Emily told me she thought that if I told mom to get treatment she would do it, but I wouldn't. I knew that all it would do is delay the inevitable. Anyway, she lasted about three months. And we all argued every single day that whole time. Emily always blamed me. She thinks mom would be alive today if I'd pushed treatment. It will be four years this September. Right after she died I threw my hat into the ring for Chief of Staff. I figured it would keep me busy and I could just forget about everything else. For a while it worked."

"Robert, it's not your fault. You know that right?"

"I know."

"Have you spoken with Emily lately?" asked Elizabeth even though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

"Not since the funeral. My step-father moved back to New York when mom died and I haven't heard from him since."

"Don't you think Emily might have accepted the outcome by now?"

"Nah. She's like me. Stubborn, arrogant, and thinks she's always right. I get to ask you one now."

"Fine. What is it?"

"Why do you put up with me?"

"Ummm…."

"Come on Lizzie, you have to answer. Those are the rules remember."

"Well, you're my boss and the one to sponsor me so I could come to Chicago."

"But then I dropped your fellowship and made you start all over as an intern."

"Then you made me Associate Chief of Surgery, it helped make up for all the shit you'd done before."

"But I was still a pain in the ass wasn't I?"

"Yes, but, I don't know. I guess I'd figured out how to deal with you."

"So why help me now? I think you're the one person hasn't said that I deserve what's happened to me."

"Robert, that's not true."

"So you think I deserve this too?" he pouted as he moved his arm slightly.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. People haven't been saying that you got what you deserved."

"Why have you been putting up with me so much lately?" he asked again.

"I've noticed that there isn't anyone else around for you to talk to…" she started.

"So you feel like you had to be the good little doctor and help the boss that everyone else hates?" he spat out, not giving her a chance to finish her thoughts.

"That is not what this is about Robert!" she yelled back at him as she stood up to confront him. "How could you think that?"

"Gee, I don't know Elizabeth. You just said that you have been helping me just because nobody else will, what else am I supposed to think when I hear that?" he cried as he stood also.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Listen to me closely Lizzie, I do not need you putting up with me out of pity," his voice dropped as he spoke deliberately his face inches from hers.

"Robert you're not hearing me …"

A part of him wanted to hear her out but he was on a role and words just kept flying out of his mouth without him really thinking about it. "I was the best damn surgeon that hospital has ever seen and I will be again without any help from you or anyone else!"

Before she had a chance to respond, Robert spun on his heel, went to his room and slammed the door so hard the walls shook.


	8. Chapter 8

_ER isn't mine. This chapter picks up immediately after the last one._

Elizabeth was still fuming and decided she wasn't going to let him walk away so easily this time. She yanked open the door and was satisfied to see a surprised look on his face.

"Hold on, I'm not done talking" she yelled.

"I don't care, I don't want to hear it," he shot back.

"Well too bad because I'm not leaving until I have my say," it was her turn to be angry. She figured that was the only way she could get through to him.

Her insistence that he listen was finally getting Robert's attention. He fixed his eyes on her, "Fine, speak."

She stood only a few inches away and locked her eyes with his, hoping that would help convince him of her sincerity. When she spoke she was still forceful but was no longer yelling, "You helped me out last year when my marriage was falling apart. And before that when I felt like I couldn't operate again, and again when I was pregnant with Ella. Its my turn to return the favor." She paused and took a breath before blushing slightly, looking down and saying, "You mean to much to me to let you go through everything alone," in a rush of words.

"What?" he asked having missed the last part.

She looked up into his eyes and acted instinctively.

After freezing for a moment in surprise he gave into to all his desires and kissed her back.

Elizabeth's mind was racing. She was trying to make sense of the last 30 seconds or so but she kept getting distracted by the man who had his lips pressed against hers, his tongue dancing around hers. Finally she came to her senses and quickly backed away.

She started to speak but he put a finger to her lips to silence her before any sound escaped.

She slowly and wordlessly backed towards the door, he eyes never leaving his until she got to her room, shut the door, and sank to the floor.

From his side of the room he watched he close the door softly, then slowly let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Elizabeth didn't sleep well that night. She kept replaying every moment of their conversation and argument in her head and realized that she'd meant every word that had come out of her mouth.

Robert couldn't get to sleep very well either, but he fared better than Elizabeth. The previous night's lack of sleep was catching up with him so it wasn't too long before exhaustion won out over worry. That night was one of the first in quite a while that wasn't plagued with nightmares.

They next day Elizabeth left early. She knew she couldn't avoid him forever but she didn't want to have to try to speak to Robert until her mind was cleared and she'd had several cups of coffee.

She headed over to the conference center before Robert had a chance to make his way downstairs. She found a seat near the front, where it usually filled up first, hoping Robert wouldn't be able to sit near her by the time he arrived.

Luck was going her way. Robert ran into the room just minutes before the presentations began. He spotted her mane of red curls up front as he found a seat in back. Elizabeth looked around a few minutes later, spotted him in the back of the room and sighed in relief.

Neither one of them could focus that day.

At the end of the day Elizabeth gathered up all of her stuff and quickly made her way towards the door. Robert was standing there waiting for her.

Elizabeth slowed her step as she approached him. She knew she had to go talk to him, he'd seen her coming.

"Hey," Robert spoke first.

"Um, hi," she replied uncertainly.

Wordlessly Robert took her elbow and propelled her forward out of the room and onto the sidewalk.

When they were outside Robert dropped her arm and Elizabeth couldn't help feeling a sense of loss.

They started walking back towards the hotel, still without speaking. Elizabeth noticed Robert flexing his fingers using his right hand.

"How's your arm doing?" she asked softly.

"Same," he said emotionlessly.

"Still no sensory function?" she asked even though she knew the answer already.

"Nope."

"How's that ulcer?"

"Same."

"Do you want me to look at it?"

He shrugged.

Elizabeth decided it wasn't worth asking questions when he was only going to give her one word answers.

A short while later they reached their hotel and headed upstairs. Elizabeth got her key first and opened the door. "Wait," she called to Robert who was at the next door about to swipe his card key.

He looked up questioningly and Elizabeth indicated that he should come into her room.

Robert sighed and obeyed.

"Sit," she said pointing. He sat on the edge of the bed, still watching her every move.

Elizabeth rummaged around in her suitcase for a minute before coming up with the first aid kit she always carried with her. It was pretty basic but it would do.

She pulled a chair up and began working on his arm. After a few minutes she mentioned, "It's not healing very well."

"Yeah, I noticed."

"But its only been a couple days, give it some time."

"Right" he said softly.

She worked on his arm for a few more minutes in silence before she saw him grimace.

"Did that hurt?"

"No. But I wish it had."

"How long has it been like this?"

"Well it happened Wednesday."

"I didn't mean the ulcer."

"Oh." Robert looked down sadly and replied, his voice barely audible, "Almost two weeks."

"You haven't been able to feel anything in your arm for two weeks?!? And you didn't say anything?" she asked in surprise.

"Nope" he answered matter-of-factly.

Elizabeth looked at his face for the first time since entering the room.

"Robert are you ok, you don't seem like yourself."

"Everything's just peachy" he replied with obviously fake enthusiasm.

"Liar."

"It's nothing."

"Robert look at me. You know last night when I said that you meant to much to me to let you go through this alone?" she said blushing slightly. He nodded. "Well I meant it. Talk to me."

Robert looked at Elizabeth sitting in front of him. He wanted to talk to her but he couldn't. Not trusting his voice he shook his head.

Elizabeth sighed and threw down the scissors she was using. "Ok, that should do it," she said forcefully while putting a fresh piece of gauze over his arm.

"Lizzie…" started Robert.

She interrupted him, "Forget it."

Elizabeth was having trouble figuring out why his behavior upset her so much. Its not like it was anything new. He never opened up to her. Well except the night before when he'd told her more about his past and family than she ever would have expected.

Robert turned to leave but decided better of it.

"Elizabeth, I want to talk to you, but I need to figure things out for myself first."

"Its not important."

He decided to let it go.

"Stupid," he thought to himself out loud as he entered his own room. Why did he always shut out the people he cared about most. Here she was, trying to get him to talk to her and he shut her out, just like he always did. Every person he'd ever fallen for had ended up leaving. Of course with Elizabeth it seemed worse since he'd fallen for her faster and harder than he had for anyone else. And last night he'd actually opened up to her and it ended up in a fight, like always. But then she'd kissed him, something he'd always dreamed about. Except she backed away.

Robert had wanted to go after her but he couldn't. She'd done something she obviously regretted and he wasn't about to after her.

Elizabeth put the first aid kit away, grabbed her purse and coat and headed outside. She needed to get away.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9 revisited. I rewrote this chapter in a completely different direction, and I have to say I like this version much better. And I have more ideas for what comes next…which should hopefully translate into more updates! As usual, ER isn't mine, but I think you already knew that. Huge thanks to Justine for her feedback on this chapter. And another shout out to MAX024 recovering my lost files. Anyway, on with the story…_

Elizabeth flew out the doors of the hotel and turned left. She didn't care where she went, she just needed to get away. __

After walking half a block she slowed her mad dash and took in her surroundings. There were quite a few people around, probably going out to an early dinner or something along those lines. The days were getting longer, but at quarter to six it was still pretty dark out. Elizabeth shivered as a slight breeze picked up and she pulled her jacket closer to her, grateful that in her rush out of the hotel room she'd had the presence of mind to bring it with her. San Francisco may not get snow in the winter like Chicago, but it wasn't exactly warm either.

After walking for five or ten minutes, and desperately trying to think about anything that didn't relate to Robert, Elizabeth found herself looking at a gigantic bow and arrow. It was sitting on a small patch of grass surrounded by plants and benches. The thing had to be at least fifty feet high, and at least twice that long. She looked at it in confusion, wondering what it was doing there.

"Pretty cool, huh?" asked another pedestrian who saw her confusion and mistook it for wonder.

"Huh?" she asked, snapping out of her daze.

"That" he said pointing at the sculpture.

"Umm, sure….what is it for exactly?" she asked.

"I dunno, a really big decoration."

"But…why?"

"Why not?" he replied before continuing on his way.

Elizabeth shook her head slightly and crossed the street. She found herself on a wide path along the waterfront. She leaned against the rail and stared out over the bay. The bay itself was dark, but she could make out the islands floating around the middle of it, framed by lights from the surrounding bridges on three sides.

For most of the day she'd been pretty good at ignoring Robert and any thoughts that had to do with him. A few times her concentration wavered and she caught herself looking in his direction, but most of the time she was able to trick herself into thinking that the speakers at the meeting were more interesting than they really were. However, now that she had nothing else to think about, her brain was cluttered with conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Elizabeth had always had a specific method of dealing with Robert. Whenever they were at County, they exchanged barbs and insults back and forth, but never revealed anything more about themselves. It made it impossible to get attached or really be affected by the other. It was the game that they had always played. Nothing more than that.

At least that's how is used to be. Somewhere along the way things had changed. And it wasn't just because of the helicopter. It was sometime before that, although Elizabeth couldn't exactly pinpoint where things changed. Of course there were the usual snarking; it just wouldn't be the same without the daily dose of snark. But the insults were more carefully planted. Designed more to playfully tease than viciously attack. When both of their world's were turned upside down, things were shaken up even more. They both found themselves turning to the other for more than just an amusing comment or the usual sarcasm. Elizabeth had realized by now that she valued Robert's friendship tremendously. She just didn't know what was supposed to happen next.

Although he'd sounded more optimistic about things the last couple of days, Elizabeth was sure that he wasn't as confident about things as he sounded. If this latest plan of his, what is was exactly she didn't know, but if it didn't work out, she wasn't exactly sure what his reaction would be. He was incredibly strong and stubborn, but just how many setbacks and disappointments could one person take?

She knew that they were each other's closest friends at the hospital. It surprised Elizabeth to think that she would call him her closest friend from work, instead of Susan or Abby, but it was true. Seeing as their lives revolved almost completely around the place, they definitely spent more time together on a daily basis than with anyone else. Elizabeth tried to use the excuse that that was the reason she put up with him better than anyone else. They saw each other more often, so naturally they knew each other better. But she knew that it was more than that. She was the only person around that he'd ever opened up to at all. Elizabeth still didn't know that much about what went on inside his head, but at least she had some idea. Everyone else was completely in the dark, just the way he preferred it.

So why her?

_Cause he loves you, duh_, piped up that annoying little voice in her head that she usually chose to ignore. She'd known that he loved her for a long time, but she hadn't been interested and had dated and eventually married Mark instead. Robert had stood on the sidelines and watched, happy that she was happy. Elizabeth had always assumed that he'd gotten over her by now, but what if he hadn't? There was that moment in the lounge. She'd always convinced herself that he'd been reaching out to anyone at all, and she'd just been the one that was there at that moment. But what if that wasn't true either?

As Elizabeth's thoughts continued to wander, she found another question she didn't know the answer to. Why did it matter so much? So what if he loved her once upon a time, or even if he still did have feelings for her It didn't matter because she didn't feel the same way. Sure he was a good friend and she was concerned and wanted to help him out in whatever way she could, but that was it, wasn't it?

And then there was that kiss the previous evening. The kiss _she'd_ initiated. What exactly had been going through her head at that moment, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that this time she'd been the one with the momentary weakness, and the memory of it had been creeping into her thoughts all day long.

Elizabeth sighed heavily before straightening up. The wind had picked up and she was going to freeze if she didn't head back inside soon. She felt even more conflicted that she had earlier. Why did everything with Robert have to be so damn complicated? She'd hoped to resolve things in her own mind, but she ended up feeling even more confused with more unanswered questions than before.

_Sorry for the lack of Cordano interaction in this chapter, there will be more soon!  
_

_Feedback is a wonderful thing, so review! You know you want to! :o)_


	10. Chapter 10

_Look I updated :- ) Sorry it's been so long. As usual, the character's are not mine. Ummm...yeah, I give you, Chapter 10. Hope you like!_

He'd been worried when she'd stormed out of her hotel room. He hadn't seen her but it would have been hard to miss the slamming of her door on the way out. Normally Robert knew when he was making her upset, but this time he was clueless. Well, maybe not clueless. He knew that his reluctance to open up to her was making her upset, but that still didn't explain _why_ she was so upset. Maybe that kiss did mean something to her, and maybe she was telling the truth when she said that she actually cared about him and wasn't trying to help him only out of pity. He desperately wanted to believe that, but he was determined to hold fast to his resolve to never reveal his feelings for her again unless he knew that she reciprocated them.

After Elizabeth had stormed out to who-knows-where, Robert decided that getting some fresh air wasn't such a bad idea. He'd turned left, knowing from previous visits to San Francisco that the waterfront was in that direction. He remembered hearing about how the whole area had been redesigned after the last earthquake, and it was pedestrian friendly with benches and grassy areas along the main path. A walk would probably do him some good.

Robert saw her when he was still almost half a block away from the water. He'd recognize that hair anywhere. His steps faltered as he started to approach her. What should he do? What should he say? _Should_ he say anything?? Deciding that he was probably one of the last people she wanted to see at the moment, he turned right when he reached the path, once again walking away from her. After walking for another five minutes he stopped and leaned with his back against the rail, admiring what he could see of the city skyline.

Maybe he should just talk to her and stop running away from everything for once. Contrary to popular belief he really could carry on a normal conversation. It couldn't be that hard to bury any romantic feelings he had for her and let her in on his secret plan. He could separate the unrealistic romantic images from the much more realistic friendship he desperately wanted from her, couldn't he? He could certainly use her help and support right about now.

Robert had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed her coming toward him until she was only about six feet away. She paused for a moment after they made eye contact, then continued walking until she was leaning against the rail next to him. He was unsure how to react considering that last time he'd seen her he'd pissed her off...again. He cautiously offered a slight smile in greeting, hoping that she hadn't come over to take her anger or frustration out on him by dumping him into the bay.

"Hey" she said softly. Robert relaxed, a little.

"Hey" he echoed, glancing behind him.

She caught his look and smiled, "Don't worry I'm not going to push you in."

"Well that's a relief. I was worried that you were out here plotting my demise."

"I think you're safe for now." Elizabeth paused for a moment before continuing, "Look, Robert, I just wanted to apologize...I shouldn't keep pushing you to tell me about you're arm. You're entitled to you're privacy."

He was surprised by her statement, "Wait, I piss you off and then you come back apologizing to me? I'm not sure what I did but I'll have to remember for next time."

"Don't push you're luck mister."

"Hey, it's doctor, not mister" he said with mock hurt in his voice.

"Yeah I know."

"You're forgiven Lizzie." He paused for a beat before continuing, "It's just that if I tell you that means it's real."

"Robert," she began gently, "I'm sorry to say that it's real whether you tell me or not. And it's been real for quite a while now."

"Yeah, I know. But I still like to pretend that it isn't. This whole ulcer thing has kind of made me wake up and smell the coffee and see that my arm really isn't going to get better. I know that it won't get better, but I still like to pretend that it will. I guess it's easier to do that if I keep things to myself."

"Yeah, I understand" she said quietly. Neither one of them said anything for another moment or two. "Robert it's freezing, I'm going to go back to the hotel. I'll see you in the morning."

"Lizzie...wait!" he called as she started to move away from him. He reached for the sleeve of her coat to keep her from leaving, but missed and grabbed her hand instead.

Both of them froze for a moment as they felt the electricity flow through them during their brief moment of contact. Robert blushed slightly and dropped her hand. Elizabeth shivered slightly, a gesture that wasn't lost of Robert.

"Never mind, you're right, it is freezing. We should go back inside" he said.

"No, I can tell you have something important to say. I'll be fine."

Robert shook his head, "You're shivering."

She didn't know how to tell him that she had shivered more from his touch than from the weather. Elizabeth didn't know what he had to tell her, but she sensed it was something big. And she was determined to find out what it was.

Seeing that she wasn't going to move until he told her what was on his mind, Robert said, "Look, I'm going to talk to you about this. But not here. It'd take too long. I'll tell you everything as soon as we get back inside. How's that?"

Elizabeth eyed him suspiciously, she thought they had made progress, but she wasn't sure. She wanted to know what he had to say but knew they couldn't stay outside forever, and she had intended on going back when she'd spotted him further down the railing. "I _guess_ that'll have to do."

"Good"


End file.
